feeling great

wa.....chua...chua...chua...nomunomu chua!!!
i feel really good. even i still have three exam papers to sit, but still i feel great.

my fourth semester ended already. my hardest time studying already passed. my worst-staying-up-nightmare to do revision for this past two weeks has ended. my killer exam papers already done and now i'm relaxing in my room. i think i'll start packing tomorrow. today, i just want ti relax... ENJOY THE RAIN~~

semester break started tomorrow. doesn't that sound perfect?? ah...finally, after struggling through this semester, it ends occasionally. so many things happen this semester. some of them are good, some are the bad memories. whatever it is that happen, it makes me mature. *wow!! i start to become a wise woman^^

empty-ing the room is the hard part right now. owh...i have so many stuffs all over my room. how to arrange them in my tiny two lockers?? *headache.

ah...as long as i don't have to stay up all night studying n reading notes, then that's okay~~

it's almost the end of the year. can't wait to go back home. even the exam ended, i have my private MUET paper. in my class, i'm a single candidate. so, wish me love everybody. AND PLEASE WAKE ME UP ON SATURDAY MORNING. i'm afraid i'll oversleep n miss my exam. GOD forbid!!!
otsukare,ren!!

exam week

it's started right after hari raya haji. so, back from holiday, i suppose to prepare for my exam already. my first paper on thursday a.k.a tomorrow. l0~ *still having time wandering in here?? subarashi!!

time is running out and i haven't finisg studying yet but the mood just isn't right.

i open my book, i try to consentrate but i can't...
i can't keep my eyes open, i can't keep my mind still...
i try to write my notes, t try to read aloud
but i still fail~~ *ikut tune untitle^^

can you imagine how disaster my situation right now?? i mean i have my paper first thing tomorrow morning but still, here i am. typing and everything when i haven't even finish doing my last minute revision. garrrrrrrrrrgarrrrrrrrrgarrrrrrrrr

i'm so frustrated!! how to make me study?? l0l~~ i need encouragement. gimme some~ if someone study in front of me, i'll be studying too. at least i'm not doing unnecessary stuffs like what i did tonight.
*lee senuggi ne album, toninght. coming up for downloading^^

well,it's been a long time, i thought i'm not their fan anymore. but, afterall.. i'm still a CASSIE~not triple s, not VIP, not ELF...i'm a CASSIE even after all this while.

now, there's no more drama on line. i watched every drama in my store. so need to find new drama for my freaking almost 2 months holiday^^ currently watching we got married. i like khuntoria couple~~they're just sweet^^

whatever it is...need to leave. my TDP book is shrieking to get my attention. 00 wish me love^^

holiday

best thing about being a teacher (or even a teacher-in-training) is that i have plenty of holiday to spend. hahahaha. i had love holiday ever since i set my first foot in a hostel^^

so, this time, i'm flying high to kota kinabalu. yezza~~arrived late at night. straight coninue the journey to kota marudu. singgah tuaran to pick kuruk up then straight to kota marudu. i'm beat!! so tired. sleepzzzzzzz~~

sunday.23 oct 2011 the long awaited day. at the afternoon, we start our journey to kudat. SIMPANG MENGAYAU....here i come!! coming here for the first time at the age of 22 is a bit embarrassing. right? hahaha. put that aside, i'm overly excited!! even taking lots of pics, thanx to my amateur photographer, miss nazatul akma^^

a bit disappointed cuz i didn't bring extra clothes. no extra clothes means no MANDI LAUT. aiseh!!! frustrated!! super!! whatever it is, i'm still happy. finally i set my two foots at the tip of borneo~~

jalan masuk menuju The Tip of Borneo^^

here we are....the landmark~~

terasa mcm mau filming titanic pun ada~

cantik tak simpang mengayau??? hehehe

yup, betullah ini tip of borneo^^

ececeh...rasa mcm model pun ada jugak =p

fly high!!! *sountrack: shinee fly high

hehehe...excitednya muka aku :)

truly the end of the tip....plg hujung la ne~

melompat lebih tinggi^^

yup....i'm here finally

hehehehe^^

excited tgk laut tp nda dpt mandi *+*

the sun about to set~

writing memory....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

p/s: i have a really great time. thanx my sis for sponsoring my vacation^^ yezza~~ *sometimes, it feels great to be unemployed when u hv sponsor-er~~kahkahkahkah

i have the urge

l0l~~it's been a while. mood swinging lately. i write when i feel like typing. classes been very pack lately. all those micro teaching and substitute classes really worn me out.
my last saturday and sunday suppose to be my week-long-awaited paradise but it turn to be a nightmare. l0l~ why?? argh. i don't event want to recall these days in my mind. let it passed,,,like the wind^^

i still have my positive thinking,,,,right? so that's mean, i'm still good. i'm not that bad to begin with. lately...lately as in few years back, i realized my english gone from bad to suck! i can't even spell properly. not to mention talking in english.

but still, thanks to my addiction to korean drama, i still know few vocabulary. that's why i love korean drama. they are fun n in the same time, improving my english. after watching all these dramas, my english still suck anyway.

i seriously need improvement. well, i need to start babbling in english again. i should start talking in english when i got mad again. even i should stop swearing but i need to start talking bad words in english again. i hate my situation right now.

argh....i'm in a very depressing situation. i'm scared my grade will fall. and people will laugh at me. even i can just ignore them n show my stone face, but their words always pisssed me off n i feel like slapping them.

hm...it's getting longer. practicing my english bha. i need to do better than this. wish me love^^

supernatural

ahahahaha....supernatural season 7 available for download oredi. *excited!!!
sda donlod ep1 dan 2. skrg tgh donlod ep3. yay~nda sabar mau tgk.

did i mention before?? i'm a big fan of supernatural?? ahahahaha. i've watch supernatural since forever. dari season 1 hinggalah skrg, season 7. never get tired of it.

dan owh...vampire diaries season 3 also available for download oredi. i'm not that big fan of vamp diaries, but since i accidentally fall in love with damon, so i'm curious bout the story. how did it go~~ *it's izyan who persuade me to watch that vamp diaries. on top of that, i hate both the idiot i-can-do-everything heroine n the i'll-do-anything-for-you hero. it's sickening~

glee?? i'm not a fan. totally not a fan. now, glee's popularity is rising tremendously but still, i have no intention of watching the series. maybe later. i've collected the series for season 1 n 2 though.

erm...merlin?? i'm in the process of completing my collection for season 1,2 and 3. still, i'm not a fan yet. i haven't watch a single episode yet. later, maybe. after i finish supernatural season 7.whatever it is, supernatural comes first~

ah...hoping there will be another supernatural after season 7 end. please tim kripke n bob singer^^

#nowwatching cinderella sister. kau ingat jd cinderella jak derita?? kakak tiri dia lg derita beb~

buat kuruk^^

actually, aku ne jenis malas tulis sajak. lebih2 lg klu ada due date. aku lebih suka menulis bila i feel like writing. so tonite, when i walk along the corridor, i realize how much i miss the star. from my room, i can't see the sky~~ sedih*---*

here, dedicated for kuruki^^

RINDUKAN BINTANG

telah kukatakan,

aku cinta langit damai,

yang tatkala malam

dihiasi bintang bertaburan.

dari jendela,

kujenguk keluar,

hampa!

hanya bayang malam yang memenuhi

aih...aku rindu langit malam,

bersama bintang-bintangnya

aku rindu bayu malam,

bersama kedinginannya

dari balik jendela

kucari bayang kejora

kucari kerdipan bintang

hati merindu

jiwa memanggil,

namun

malam tetap menyembunyikan bintangku.

-REN-

2054 (OKT,03 2011)

*mishiu^^

jiwa jiwa

sebuah sajak yg aku tulis atas permintaan rakan.sajak uk opening teater muzikal " "RINDA". kisah mengenai perjuangan menentang penjajah Jepun di Sabah.

actually, aku sda lama bersara dr bab-bab tulis menulis ne but since she ask for a favor, i just can't refused. she had done many good deeds to me, u see...

so, even i hate the supervisor of this musical, but since the director till the actors are all my friends, so i wrote them a poem. with one condition, i myself will present the poem behind the stage~
they agree so here the poem.

KEMBOJA KELAYUAN

(intro)

susui koposionku,

miniagal di sogguas kemboja do nolubok,

poimponu koihadan, poimponu koinggoritan,

nga poinghobo kasaie tuh poinggamut.

*translate:

kisah tentang hidupku,

ibarat sepohon kemboja kelayuan,

penuh duka, penuh derita,

tapi tetap bernafas selagi akar masih bertaut.

dalam badai kehidupan,

setiap kita ada ceritanya,

kau dan aku berbeza,

kau punya ibu, kau punya bapa

kau punya matahari, kau punya cinta,

sedang aku,

ibarat kemboja kelayuan,

sendirian tersisih dari liku-liku manusia,

kenapa mereka membunuh cintaku?

sedang mereka juga manusia

megapa mereka mencuri matahariku?

sedang mereka juga punya hati

mereka bukan siapa-siapa

hanya insan asing yang menceroboh

tapi,

mereka merobek maruah pemegang panji tanah air,

mereka melakar takdir kejam

mereka memahat erti derita dalam jiwa perwira kita

(insert)

kokoro to tamashii wa motteru

kedo, sekai sonna ni amakunai

tsuyoi mona wa yomai mono wo

kanemochi wa mazushii mono wo fundari

ki wo tsukenaito

jibun mo yomai mono mazushii mono ni haru

kekkyoku giseisha wa jibun dato

*translate

kami punya hati, kami punya jiwa

namun lumrah dunia sememangnya kejam

yang kuat menindas yang lemah,

yang kaya memijak yang miskin

kerana kealpaan, kerana kelekaan

kamu jadi miskin, kamu lemah

maka kamulah mangsa

andai kemboja terusan melayu

catatan derita takkan pernah berakhir,

lantaran itu,

kejarlah bahagia itu,

akan kurampas semula matahariku

dan satukan cintaku dan cintamu,

walau nyawa perlu diperjudi

walau titisan darah sebagai cagaran

bayang merdeka akan terus ku kejar.

-REN-

12:13 pm 

Sept, 06 2011

#special thanks to NUR IZYAN SYAZWANI + EVALORENNA for the dusun+japan translation.

missions^^

aku sda set misi2 aku utk tahun ne~ so, before the end of the year, aku mesti fulfill semua misi aku ne~

1. khatam semua drama korea aku^^
2. khatam semua mubie dlm xtnal aku^^
3. baca latest update semua manga feveret aku^^
4. habiskan menonton semua koleksi anime aku yg ribu2 episod tu^^
5. mentenkan 45 kilo aku^^
6. pegi vacation dgn kuruk^^
7. save some money~

n the hardest part is here,,,
8. forget whatever unhappy moments this year
9. let everything pass like a wind
10. forget n forgive them. sincerely~

aku pun nda tau a aku berjaya nda tunaikan semua misi ne. cuma mampu berusaha~ fighto!!

cerita ceriti

nda tau mau post pasal apa. tapi tgn gatal jugak mau menaip. esok aku ada mikroteaching. subjek psk. berdebar la jugak. jumaat lalu sda buat mikro pj. l0l~

hidup bosan. blk rituh kin tambah tensen jak. ntah la, aku ne asik marah jak. aku pun nda paham dgn diri sndri. asik rasa hangat jak. sikit2 pun mau panas. eisy!! kurang berzikir ne kalik.

aku solat jugak, mcm besa. tp ntah la. adedeh!! bosan la~ bubye^^

aktiviti cekgu-cekgu

mau buat entry pasal SUSHI. tapi nanti aku sndri yg kempunan. sda la 2 3 menjak ne asek tertengok ads sushi jak di tenet. tiap buka apa2 web, mesti tgk ads sushi. nda kah bikin panas tu~~

balik kepada kesah cekgucekgu ne. ptg td kelas aku anjurkan PESTA RIA WAU. julung2 kali beb! best la jugak. dan hari ini adalah dugaan p0sa plg besar buat aku.

1. p kg inderasabah, pinjam wau. alih2 mcik tu hidang air sarsi sejuk ++ kuih raya. gulp!! telan liur beb! punya nikmat air sarsi sejuk time tgh mentari tegak di kepala. dugaan...

2. kenak2 lg aku ajk mkan utk pesta ria wau ne. lg parah. aku yg kena p buat air. l0l~ punya sedap aku tgk air sejuk tu dibancuh. then aku angkat n hidang kpd org. adeh!! dugaan...

3. sda la semlm aku nda mkn proper time buka, jd tenaga pun tda2 la jugak. ble lg durg relaks suruh aku angkat benda2 berat. bongok ka apa!! siap ckp 'kau p angkat tu. kau belum buat kerja lg'. DAMN GIRL!! eit!! dugaan.....

4. time hidang kuih, aku sda save bbrp bijik kuih utk aku. alih2 aku p jenguk blk, sda bdk2 ne bantau . licin!! dugaan....lagi!

5. ble pulak sindir2 aku nda buat kerja. tapi nda pa, ada jugak org tahu aku buat kerja aku~ lepas tu ble pulak durg suruh aku serve mknan utk durg sdgkan aku sdg berpuasa. patut nda??? NDA PATUT!!! suruh aku tuang air la, suruh aku ambikkan kuih la.eisy!! teruknya! dugaan....

alhamdulillah. hari ne puasa ke-6 aku. syukur. habis sda puasa 6. tinggal puasa ganti 2 hari lg.oke....

*sesiapa....ajaklah aku p mkn sushi~~ =*=

cerita MAKAN

adakah manusia yg nda suka makan di dunia ne?? klu ada la, wa salute sma lu, owh~ babeng!! punya la dunia ne heaven makanan!

tapi, IPG kampus Tawau adalah neraka makanan! makanan di sni, jgn ckp la. bg anjing pun dia kasi muntah blk owh. aku nda paham mcm mna pcik tu ble buat bisnes mknan. adeh. carikla tukang masak best sikit.

lepas tu, masalah makan aku pun bertambah parah. aku hya ble mkn sehari sekali di medan selera. itu pun jam 10 pagi. so, for the rest of the day, i have t starve myself~ adilkah ini???
sedangkan aku hidup untuk makan!! argh!!

timing2 puasa lagi bikin sakit jiwa. mcm mna mau sungkai?? asik2 kena sungkai dgn tea dan biskut kering. sadis!! terasa mcm beggar pun ada sebab terpaksa mkn biskut kering hari2.sadis!!sadis!!!

hari ne, aku puasa lagi. puasa ke 5 sda^^ y0sh!! dlm 5 hari ne, 3 hari jak sungkai dgn nasi. tu pun sebab ada kawan baik hati belikan makanan dari luar.yg dua hari lagi tu, mmg biskut kering dan tea la menu sungkai aku. utk 3 hari seterusnya ne, aku nda tau la. *aiseh!biskut gabeng la ne.mcm besa~

aku berdoa smg tender kafe tu di tukar dgn tender yg hidang mknan heaven sikit~ semoga. sda 2 tahun kafe tu mcm tu. entah sampai bila aku ble bertahan nda mkn when i feel like eating. cis!!!

buat uncle kafe, semoga kompeni kau bengkrap n kau blah dr ip!! hohohohho #superevil!
*merapu jak bha. tp smg tender kena tukar la thn dpn. can't stand it anymore.

esaimen lagi. heh!!

AKU BENCI ESAIMEN!!

AKU BENCI ESAIMEN!!

AKU BENCI ESAIMEN!!

AKU BENCI ESAIMEN!!

AKU BENCI ESAIMEN!!

AKU BENCI ESAIMEN!!

AKU BENCI ESAIMEN!!

cerita-cerita RAYA ^^

mlm raya. mak terkejut sebab dia expect raya 31 ogos. alih2 uncle tu umum raya esok. matik!!! trus semua bz pasang langsir, sapu siling, rendam pulut, potong daun pisang, tukar sarung kusyen.....
aku pulak trus bz on laptop pasang takbir raya. hehehehe~ jgn nda tau, aku terer bungkus buras. seb baik mak nda buat banyak buras. dlm 100 jak la gitu. jd kejap jak aku bungkus semua~~

pagi raya. ble lg bgn lambat. nda apa. seb baik sempat mandi manda n bergaya dgn baju raya sblm urg blk dr sembahyang raya. raya ne sadis sikit sebab aku nda sempat pun jahit baju raya. nasib baik aku ada baju kurung yg nda pernah pakai.hah.tu la jd baju raya ^^
pagi2 lagi sda byk urg dtg berpusu2 mau beraya. jd sesi bersalaman kami terpaksa di kengsel kerana terpaksa melayan tetamu.nda apalah, bkn raya jak kan ble bermaaf-maafan~esok lusa pun ble^^

raya kedua. masih jugak byk tetamu. member2 mak bapak aku, member adik aku (cis!! adik laki aku bawa gelpren beraya di rumah. cis!!cis!! cis!! mengasi jeles la tu)
masing2 ada member. member aku jak yg teda. *nda pa, aku ada tour raya bha ^^

raya tiga hingga raya empat, mmg aku duduk rumah jak. seingat aku, mlm raya pertama jak aku p beraya rumah org.tu pun rumah antie aku jugak. mmg raya kali ne duduk rumah memanjang la~

highlight raya kali ne. raya kelima. TOUR RAYA 2011.
best!eksaiting! suka! *tp ada jugak perkara yg kurang menggembirakan~huh!!
pg2 lg kami gerak dr ld. aku siap bawa luggage lagi.trus blk ip kan. ceh!! kesian aku.mula2 singgah rumah zack, mami dia buatkan bekfas. then, kunak, singgah rumah challi' pulak. lepas tu direct p tawau, p rumah ariez. sna, ramai sda kwn2 berkumpul. riuh wey~~

lepas tu gerak p rumah jerry.then rumah kuruk. pastu rumah ecak.then rumah madtang barulah last, p rumah fadzly.erm...mlm tu aku terpaksa p rumah kazen aku pulak. anak buah aku yg ngokngek itu befdae.terpaksa la tunjuk muka.l0l~

kesimpulan. tour raya best.terharu sebab nadiah(klasmet aku di matrik) join sekali semata2 mau jumpa aku.hahahaha.
terima kasih CLIQUE kerana memeriahkan raya aku tahun ne ;)

masalah bgn sahur

aku pun nda paham. kenapa ramadhan tahun ne, aku susah benar mau bgn sahur!! nda sedar langsung. padahal sda jugak set alarm. eisy!! skrg sda 13 ramadhan, tp setakat ne aku baru 2 kali bgn sahur.
plg best, bila mlm tu sda beli mknan utk sahur. ekaited la ne konon. last2 terbgn tym azan subuh! hampeh!! sadis!! sandi!!
aku pun nda paham. thn2 sebelum ne, sng jak pun. set jak alarm, kompom bgn. ne kali, bunyi alarm pun langsung nda dgr. aiseh!! masalah besar ne!

oke. tu satu masalah. masalah kedua pulak. now, i suppose to write an essay. tp skrg aku tgh blogging pulak. heisy!! susah jugak!! mcm mna mau jd rajin ne?? essay tu kena hantar isnin ne wey! mati la aku~~~

i'm not that excited this year. maybe i'm about to experience something bad. GOD forbid!! i hope my life will become normal ^^
i hope i won't have any dream bout him anymore. i already forget the past. i let that feeling go long time ago. so, just let me live happily without his shadow. please, GOD!!

stressful moment

aku nda tau la mcm mna mau cakap. can't express tru words. argh!!! aku nda suka her attitude. pretending n smiling wif someone but talk bad bout that person behnd her back. i can't stand such woman!! for me, be honest! u hate her, just hate her. u like her, just like her. don't be afraid. be honest to urself. dun just bcoz people hate her, u shud hate her to0. be reasonable la sikit.

lagi bikin pening. it's not my job dammit!! i've done my job so why they're here? what they want?? making me annoyed to death! i hate this situation. i love work alone. i love work as i pleased. i'm juz that type of person. gimme my part n i'll do it alone. i have confidence that i can finish it well. so, why bother??u juz keep ur nose busy bout your own smell, okay?

lemme make it clear. before i started to hate u, u better leave me alone. i have no intention of being BFF wif u. i hate people who talk bad behind others. since i'm afraid, u'll talk bad behind me when u're smiling in front of me. so scary!!

paranoid?? i am! i hate taking chances. for me, there's no second chance in life even we always hope for one. there's no n there will be no second chance. juz hate me sincerely. i won't hate u for hating me.

learn to forgive?nope. i still wait for they apology.but they seems have no intention of apologizing to me at all. pride? ego? the hell wif that. if u want something precious, u have to sacrifice even your pride n ego. am i not precious enaff?? *ouch!!that hurts~

it's been a busy week. i need to do five esaimens this month. GOD, spare me please~ my head start to gimme a hard time. today, i'm playing truant.ah....it's been a long time since i last playing truant.owh...i miss that time~

bruse n storm mcm nda sehat. cuaca tawau yg terlalu panas ka atau aku yg nda pandai jaga mereka? do i need to cut the flowers?? so other flowers can bloom as well? ah....bulla...
right now i'm very sleepy but i need to finish my presentation. well, i have enaff oredi. done wif the bubbling n mumbling. gotta need some rest.

selamat menanti sungkai, everibadi~

update!

it's new semester now. i'm in my fourth now!! *so happy.can'twait for my 8th!!hahaha
a little update about my campus life. erm,,,,,mcm taufan! sibuk memanjang. ingan bukak sem ble relax la kejap, rupanya lecturers sda plan program baik punya utk kami bdk2 sem4~ eish!!!

larian 1murid,1sukan baru jak berlalu.penat jugak jd AJK protokol. neway, dpt jugak can berborak n berlari bersma puan pengarah.haha

then, sibuk dgn isl la pulak. en amin mula sda bg taklimat pasal portfolio pelajar. aiseh!! terpaksa carik nota dr sem1 la ne...*sori!sda dihapuskan! ayark~

july, l0l~baru awal july, tp the whole july is fully booked! this week ada pesta pantun n forum. next week kena pegi camping. next lagi kena p fieldtrip. lps tu ada BIG fasa 4. huh!!

update setakat ne dulu. malas mau pikir pasal besok. que sera, sera..

p/s: i'm looking for miss khairiatul syafiqqah kassah. anyone??? dia MIA sejak dia cuti la....wuwuwuwuwuwu...never kontek me!! *tek, mishyu bha!!hahaha

apa yang aku buat?

biasa klu merepek mmg dlm english. jarang jak aku merapu dlm blog ne in malay. kenapa ah?? kalik aku mmg selesa cursing n swearing in eng. *since aku nda brp pandai cursing n swearing in malay. hahahahaha

WAIT!! apa yg aku buat ne?? oke!! ren, bangun!! esok ada paper. apa kau buat sini ne? bkn kau patut hadap buku perngurusan blk darjah ka? (me: laughing)
kesedaran diri itu pntg. bak kata mr alder, t/laku manusia ne dipengaruhi oleh kepercayaan masing2. jika kau fikirkan kau boleh...

ah! kalau fikir boleh jak tp nda studi, itu pun nda ble pakai jugak. kim soo-ro kata, kita nda perlu genius utk berjaya. kita hya perlu STUDY HARD!!!
masalah besar ne! aku ne bkn jns STUDY-HARD-type. ades!

perlu ubah habit. oke,,,berubah!! meicheinbaum kata manusia perlu arahan kendiri utk beritahu diri spy berubah. erm..i keep masef to stadi hard, tp aku still pemalas! so??

semua teori ne mcm nda ble aku pakai jak. apa masalahnya ne ah? heyyyy.....
oke. berhenti membebel. p buka buku. paksa diri spy telan semua fakta2 tu. fighto!!

well then. oyasumi~

hari cekgu

dulu selalu jak wish cigu2 'hepi teachers day' hari ne. skrg aku sndri dpt wish ne dr kwn2. hahahaha...terasa diri sda jd cgu betul2 pulak. lg best tym nyanyi lagu 'kami guru malaysia'. aiya...teringat zaman muda2 dulu. tiap hari guru, mesti cgu2 nyanyi lagu ne. uwaaaaa....

here is my special wish for my special cekgu:
1. my most precious cigu, mr abdul rahman tanjilul. u're like a father to me. thanx for everything. i will never forget u even if i have amnesia~hahahaha

2. my best-teacher-fren mr rizalmi abd majid. yay~ even lps kawin cgu jarang kontek saya, but still, i text u once in a while kan..thanx for calling me today~miss u!! hahahaha...hope to see ur junior!

3. my macho-addmath teacher, mr azizi abd wahab. really miss ur joke!! thanx for always supporting me back then. mmg kita btl2 lost kontek skrg ne. maybe u oredi forgot me.hahahaha.it's okay~ keep living happily with your family. thanx for giving me the nickname 'queenthechess' *i still hope u never forget me~

4. erm...my crush?? hahahahaha (dummy!!!) just my another teacher. thanks for paiently listening to me back then. even now, when i feel depressed, i still msg u. thanx for always be so supportive. for me, u're an uncle that i treasure~ live happily. hope to hear from u soon. lama sda nda kontek ne kan~

5. my bakal-cikgu-besties, miss nazatul akma. thanks for always being a very supportive friend. sorry for always bugging u with my nonsense~ i always feel thankful cuz i know u always there for me. selamat hari guru, darl~

6. my teachers at SK Binuang (cgu kastinah, cgu sutikno, ustaz ismail, etc). my teachers at SEMSALD (mr hamdi, ms haneem,ms ainey, etc) thanx for everything.

oke. pokoknya, semua cigu2 di dunia...SELAMAT HARI GURU!!!

*token of gratitude for miss nazatul akma for all the notes. lupa pulak mau say thanx before this. thanx, kuruki~

homeless??

aku rasa sejak mac lagi aku hidup bak seorang yang homeless dlm blk sendiri. langsung teda masa mau mengurus diri dengan sempurna. sapu bilik? kali baru dua kali. basuh kain? duh!! kadang samapi 2 minggu kain berampai dlm bakul. yang sudah basuh pulak bertempiaran atas katil, nda sempat mau kemas.

semuanya gara-gara kesibukan yang melampau. hal ini jd sgt teruk di akhir2 april ne. lepas jak UAK rituh, aku rasa aku blom sapu blk lagi ne. yark!! teruknya aku!

mggu ne pulak sibuk dengan esaimen last minit. hadoi! parah! kepala pun bengang owh! sehari suntuk kena hadap pc. ble biol owh~ tgk jak hari ne, sehari suntuk aku nda pegi mana2 kecuali toilet n blk eva. malar hadap pc. belakang pun mcm mau patah sda. heyyyyyyyyy.......

baru perasan. sudah banyak bulan aku tdk keluar bandar. hahahahaha. aku rasa kali terakhir aku ke bndr tawau tym februari. wow!! impressive~ nda perasan fakta ini sehinggalah aku perasan yang

1. out of toothpaste
2. out of shampoo
3. out of conditioner
4. out of sugar
bla..bla..bla...

nda perasan sgt prob ne cuz eva akan keluar every week n akan belikan barang utk aku skali.

good news! last esaimen aku baru jak siap tadi!!yahoooo!!alhamdulillah. akhirnya aku ble start tgk secret garden. bubye esaimen world~
...............transferring to wonderland.......... ;)

ja ne~

ah, penat!

deretan esaimen siap sedia menanti aku utk menyelesaikan mereka. duh!! aku baru jak siapkan kkp bmm semlm. pukul 4 pagi jugak la bru tdr. lps tu siang td kena present tajuk integumentary sistem nasib baik aku sda buat slide awal2. klu nda, matik la jugak~

lepas tu ptg tadi, buat laporan pbs pulak. sempat tdr sejam jak tgh hari td lps zuhur. duh!! aku rasa aku bergerak hanya utk ke bilik eva utk print dan ambil maklumat, ke toilet dan sembahyang. nasib baik repot siap dlm jam 8 lebih tadi. jd sempat la aku memandikan diri dengan jayanya.

oke, sekarang patut aku mula buat kkp esd pulak. tapi my mind ask for some rest. berdenyut-denyut sda ne kepala. aduh!! bha, bisuk la pelan2 buat esd. nda byk jugak tu, kajian dan dapatan jak. lps tu masukkan soal selidik. oke la~

ngantuk sda. hati meronta-ronta mau tgk secret garden tapi tahan dulu...sabar ren!! mggu depan kau tgk la puas2, oke~
bha, nite world!

bila dia mula memaki

aku nda kisah. dia mau maki ka, mau apakah, lantaklah!! asal makian dia berasas dan dia nda go overboard~ jgn bikin aku panas la, you damn-fox-bitch!!

yup, i swear, i curse...so what?? i curse n swear when others did something wrong to me. n they really did something wrong to me, then i swore n cursed them. but you... damn!! do you even know why i treated you this way? you keep playing innocent n you disgust me more and more. blueeeekkk!!!

people start to ask, why do i even being frens wif u on the first hand? fuck!!at first you look sincere and we're good. i've said before, I'M ALWAYS A FRIEND TO EVERYONE WHO TREATED ME LIKE ONE. bitch, ask yourself, have you ever treated me like a true friend? damn you!!

you love to put all the blame on my shoulder. oke, if it's true this is all because of me, explain to me what i did wrong? is hating you because you snatch others boyfriend is a sin?? come on la!! i hate PERAMPAS!! i despise them!! dun say we have no choice cuz ALLAH provide us with thousand options~

you are not anybody whose words i need to obey. please la...don't flatter yourself. grrr!! i got no time to think bout you. seeing your face n hearing your face everyday is already a torture, why do you think i'll talk bout you 24/7? huh!!!
like i said, don't flatter yourself. i'm a very busy person.plus, you r nobody, nothing special bout you that will makes me wanna talk bout you all the time.

i'm good in cursing n swearing. very good actually. so please think twice before mess up with me or u'll regret it. i fear nothing when i talk the truth. so stop selling your innocent face to earn others sympathy. you can get all others support as you please as i never ask them to side on me, it's just them who are not fools. they know the truth. that's why they didn't buy your innocent face.

don't expect people are as fool as you and your loyal dog-buddies~they got brain, they got eyes, they got ears. so let them be~ haven't i told you before? even how idiot you are, please don't show off your idiot-ness. people won't even feel sympathy, they'll just laugh at you. baka!!!

finally, you removed me from your facebook. thanx! i appreciate it. in case u've forgotten, i have twitter too. so please unfollow me as well~
don't you feel tired acting all innocent and selling your innocent face just to make people hate me and love you more? please la.. i never persuade people to hate you. they just naturally don't love you. anyway, you and your loyal-dog-buddies are suckzzzzz!!! really~

hate my way of writing? don't read then~

minggu2 esaimen

paling malas bila terkeluar perkataan esaimen. eisy!! aku rasa mau lempang jak sepa yg wujudkan perkataan esaimen dlm dunia ne! apasal dia bengap sgt hah?? nda pikir ttg kesejahteraan warga pelajar bila dia buat perkataan esaimen tu hah?? nama pun ass-sigh-ment. heyyyyyyyy...

demam korea? huh! menyampah pulak sda aku dgn jutaan artis korea yg baru debut. duh!! bak cendawan tumbuh lepas hujan gitu. bila mula2 dulu, yala...aku pun fans dbsk jugak. fans suju jugak. fans artis2 kacak korea jugak. tp bila sda semua pun timbul n semua pun mau debut...duh!!

oke la. skrg masuk bab menyampah kedua pulak. part ne sulit sikit. bila ada sorg pompuan yg sgt perasan bahawasanya dialah manusia plg cantik di dunia, itu buatkan aku mntah!! please la...realistik la sikit!! mmg la cantik tu subjektif, tp dgn wajah tu, mcm mna kau ble dpt idea yg kaulah plg cantik didunia ne? mna kau dpt imaginasi bunguks yang menyatakan bahawa semua org sgt jeles akan kecantikan kau yg nda seberapa tu? duh!! sudah2la tu manusia. bawak2 la sembahyang ya...jgn lupa Tuhan. Tuhan mmg cipta semua manusia dgn cantik. tapi jgn sampai takbur!

fuh!! penat membebel! kesimpulan, aku menyampah dgn pompuan yg perasan cantik sgt! ciao~

versi malas

aku malas. n sungguh teda mood sekarang. enaff la with this teater-musical-crap! urgh!
i ma a very traditional n old-fashioned writer. i hate people violate my work. so what?? if you think you can write your own magnificent story, why lemme do the writing part? seriously? duh!

it's been a long time since i last write anything. my latest poem, 'bukan sayang'. itu seja la setakat ne. owh!! i remember writing one poem for an 0ld friend or better say ex?? hahahahaha. i dun think she kept it. maybe she just throw it away. watever. but i seriously write that poem for her. she should feel honoured. for me to write a poem for her. hahahahahahaa *kau ingat kau sepa? shakespeare?

mengantuk. so in the sleeping mood. well, esok monday. and i TRULY, DEEPLY, SERIOUSLY, REALLY....HATE MONDAY!!!

nite ebribadi~

bukan sayang

bukan sayang

kisah bermula dengan tenang,
seperti hubungan orang lain juga,
kita bermula dengan kosong,
kemudian mula mengakrab,
kasih mula bersemai,
sayang kian merimbun.

bukan sayang yang dikejar,
cuma satu keikhlasan dalam perhubungan,
bukan sayang juga yang dicari,
hanya satu kejujuran dan kepercayaan,
keterlaluankah hajatku?

kadang orang tertanya,
kenapa ku tak pernah memanggilmu sayang,
atau tak pernah melafaz kasih,
tapi ku punya alasan,
ku punya sebab.

bila kasih pudar,
dan laut mula bergelora,
kau akan mula membenciku,
dan mula memanggilku BITCH,
lantas dari sayang menjadi benci,
hilang semua sayang,
pudar semua kasih.

lalu ku nekad,
tak perlu sayang tak perlu kasih,
hanya satu kejujuran,
dan bukan kepuraan,
sekali air bah, sekali ombak berubah,
manusia berubah, sayang juga berubah,
akhirnya,
semuanya bukan lagi sayang.

ren

apr, 06 2011 0939

bila dikhianati.

hidup ne actually very simple.

aku suka bercakap. aku suka berterus terang. even ada urg benci aku sebab aku terlalu berterus terang.

SO WHAT?? ingat aku ne tukang jaga hati kau?? aku ckp the truth!

plg nda tahan bila kwn (urg yg aku anggap kwn la) tipu aku. eisy!! ne kes berat!!

aku mmg nda ble tahan klu bab ne. mcm mau sepak jak muka penipu tahi itu!

kalik dia ble senyum, tapi sorilah!! aku nda pandai berpura2. kan aku ne HEARTLESS. so klu sda heartless, mmg teda2 la mau jaga hati urg lain. jd paham2 la

lagi satu, pasal tanggungjawab. sda kau ketua, tlg la bekerja sket. kau ingta jd ketua ne sekadar mau cari populariti atau kesenangan?? bunguk!! ketua lah yg kena kerja lebih.

dah kau, ketua, pasrah la klu kena kerja lebih, ne nda. siap lari lagi. apakah??? teda consideration lagsung. aku tensen la dgn manusia2 begini.

akibat kelalaian dan kebuduhan aku sendiri, maka aku harus buat semula esaimen ANATOMI aku dr A sampai Z. dem!! ingat kerja mentranslate ne senang ka??

apapun, sabar!! ini dugaan, ren!

tengah tensen2 ne, rasa mcm mau td sejak. kepala pun berdenyut2. hati sakit n geram. sikit jak lagi mau gila. GOD!!!

bha, mandi dulu. lps isyak, harus mula mengesaimenkan diri. pity, val0!! what to do?? i'm hopeless myself~~

benci mereka!

ah...kin geram la durg2 ne. aku ingat aku salah join camping sda. eisy! klu mau buat camping pengakap, buat apa mau ajak ppkm skali. eisy! sda la dibuat mcm anak tiri jak, siap dikutuk2 lagi. apa la tu~~
mentang2 la dr penyelaras, kemkom n jurulatih semua pemimpin pengakap, jd ppkm dianggap nda wujud la. cis!
menyakitkan hati. sibuk jugak defend diri, jd malas la mau ckp apa2 time refleksi tapi hakikatnya mmg bikin panas tu semua pemimpin!
camping, aku mmg penat. sampai nda larat mau p mandi sungai sda. rela lg aku mandi dlm tandas ngeri tu. huh! mandi di toilet 2 min, jd sementara tggu maghrib, aku tidur jak la. lantaklah,,,,,nda elok ka apa ka, yg aku tau fizikal aku mmg nda ble bertahan lg tanpa tdr yg cukup.

dr sudut ilmu, yup! aku mmg dpt belajar byk jns simpulan n cara2 buat gadget. dan kebanggaan aku? aku n my team berjaya buat gadget gerbang utama yg sgt tggi dan besar dan kukuh! huh!! jgn main2 dgn tenaga urg perempuan. gadget kami lg kukuh dr gadget pengakap lelaki. *hidung kembang sebab bangga gilak*
 mr badrul siap interbiu lg, marini biasa panjat pokok?? ceh!! dia nampak aku panjat tu tiang2 gadjet dgn sgt pantas tanpa takut2 kalik~yezza....aku mmg terer klu bab panjat2 ne~ hehehehe
nda sabar mau tgk gmbr2 tym camping. huh!! apapun, aku benci certain pengakap yg sumbung mcm urg gilak (mcm terer sgt buat gadget!aku ikat lebih kemas dr kamu la...boooooooooooooo) dan aku juga benci pemimpin2 pengakap yg sentiasa melebih2kan member pengakap n menganaktirikan member ppkm!
ppkm buat gadget tanpa bantuan lelaki bha. cuma pintu gerbang jak ada bbrp urg lelaki tlg ikat yg palang bhgn atas~

pintu gerbang kebanggaan aku!! kami bina dgn tenaga kami ne~ see betapa besarnya beliau

bhgn blkg gerbang kami tu. ada pelantar utk lepak2 ya..aku antara yg terawal naik pelantar ne utk siapkan ikatan~

gerbanh camp site ppkm. ne member2 ppkm aku yg buat. aku nda terlibat bhgn ne. still, bangga dgn keupayaan ppkm

gadget menara yg dibina oleh semua lelaki pengakap dgn bbrp urg pompuan. nda lawa, tda hiasan. so, aku lg bangga dgn pintu gerbang aku dr menara ne. aku dpt can jugak panjat menara ne pg2. rilek jak aku p panjat menara ne dpn jurulatih2 n kemkom dgn uniform ppkm aku. pedulik.

benci makanan kafe yg sggh nda sedap. menyebabkan hari2 aku kebulur! smg tukar tender sem dpn. amin!

benci manusia yg nda pandai berterus terang. klu nda suka aku, jgnlah senyum dgn aku. ne nda, layan aku mcm besa padahal blkg aku kutuk aku. agak2 la geng! kau ingat aku suka kau senyum2 sma aku? meluat tahu??

benci penangkap (pengakap) sekalian!! buduh sumbung!!!

benci esaimen yg asek betimbun n nda pandai abes!!

super benci sma mysterious callers yg bikin menyampah dan sgt buduh n nda pandai paham bahasa. aku ckp melayu pun *jgn ganggu aku!* ka durg mau aku ckp jipun?? bodoh!!

ypsh!! nda sabar mau sesi pmbntgn ke2. hehehehehehe. tambah dosa lagi. padulik la. yg pntg aku luahkan segala rasa nda puas hati aku. klu tapau dlm hati, ble gila wey~

p/s: skrg masih ngantuk n teda mood mau memulakan sesi mengesaimenkan diri. pedulik la sna. klu nda siap apa ble buat.kan!
bha. nighty nite. lps isyak ne, kompom aku tdr~

1,2,3 starto!

okay. selamat malam.

hahaha. penat. kepala berpinar.

sebabnya??

baru menghabiskan revision subjek Pengurusan Blk Darjah.
haha. curious kan, kenapa sadenli aku studi...hehehehe. sebab bisuk ada kuiz! duh!! terpaksa baca dr bab 1-4, dlm satu mlm. na....ambekmu!!

tambah berpinar lagi mengenang deretan task yg perlu diselesaikan.

ada KKBI anatomi n fisio yg perlu dihantar pd Monday.

ada PBS repot yg perlu dihantar (due date belum dimaklum)

ada lagi KKP hubungan etnik yg perlu di hantar pada 8 April

lagi KKP politik & kerajaan juga dihantar pd 8 April.

ada lagi...KKBI BM yg perlu dihantar pd April jugak.

lagi....kena buat model baju pengantin utk PPKM

lagi...camping UB di Balung Eco Resort dr 29 mac- 1 apr.

bha...kenapa nda berpinar-pinar kepala aku.
sudah 4 hari berpuasa. alhamdulillah. dgn puasa, aku dpt kawal perlakuan. seh!
kata mereka, let everything go!! okay. i let everything go.
but still, i can't look at her like i did before~ wuiseh!!

kisah duit??

hoho. on monday, i still got 100 in my wallet

but today, there's only syiling2 yg left owh!!

hahahahaha. mana semua duit aku lesap??

M.I.A.

PPKM asek2 mintak duit, bayar tiket yg burn, bayar itu...bayar ini... last2 nah!! teda sda duit.

seb baik baru dpt msj. 'REN, aku sda bank in duit kau'

yezzaaaaaaaaaa.....thanx my sis!!

ngehehehehehehehehee

harus teruskan kerja. ada kerja anatomi lg ne.
bha. until then.
night ebribadi!
chiao~

satu lagi.

aku malas sda ekceli mau bangkitkan isu ne. tapi tiap kali aku TERtengok all those bullshitting pics of them, aku jadi geram n tak tentu arah!! why the bcoz?? ntah! aku rasa teraniaya kalik. nda pun aku rasa terBETRAY! ya la tu,,,sda la aku plg benci di khianati, lebih2 lg oleh manusia2 yang aku percaya dan aku pggl KAWAN!!

a friend should never betray her friends, right? kan..kan kerek..kan kuruk~ if i ever betrayed u guys, lemme know! i'll let you slap me. hahahahaha. but, seriously, i've never thinking of betraying my own friend. so, when someone i already call a friend of mine betraying me by doing this to me, i'm SPEECHLESS!! hahaa. yala,,,spechless utk bbrp minit sblm kemarahan meledak dan hati mula memaki dan tangan mula menaipkan rasa tidak senangnya di social networking. l0l~~wall aku, suka hati la aku mau tulis apa. kau nda suka, jgn la baca. ngoks! itu pun mau di ajar ka? bilang pandai. eisy!!

yang paling menyakitkan jiwa raga ku ialah, that was MY PLAN!! dammit!! l0l~ sesedap jiwa jak ya...kata cancel rupanya pergi secara senyap2. reasons? menurut beliau (identiti adalah rahsia) it's becoz every little thing that i said. hohoho. what the fffffffffff??? lucu jugak ya manusia tersebut. dia terluka gara2 aku beritahu dia satu kebenaran?? hahaha. kalik la jugak the way i talk to her not as what she/he wishes but please la...aku nda pandai berlakon. talking all nice and smile like an idiot when i'm bengang with you!! hahahahaha. sorry for not being sensitive enough. what?? you expect me to talk to you pretending that u are a princess?? go to hell!!

when DIA got no guts to tell me the truth, i'm wondering where did DIA got the guts to upload all these bullshitting pics. hohohohoho. at least, kalau dia bagitau yg dia pegi jugak vacation tu, teda la aku sakit hati gilak2. kurang2 dia berterus terang bha. not la buat aku macam IDIOT!! seriously, aku betul2 rasa mcm an IDIOT!! ne lagi sebab kenapa aku rasa sungguh geram n nda puas hati. dia treat aku macam SAMPAH!! come on la, people. kau sda besar bha. kata paham human, tp manusia simple minded mcm aku pun dia nda tau mcm mna mau deal. apakah??

what makes you the greatest?? i can simply said I HATE YOU but that's not what my heart said. my heart keep telling me that you're a friend!! BULLSHIT!!

p/s: tensen dgn esaimen.perubahan aku?? plg ketara, aku makin gem00k!! TIDAK!!!!!! i hope i didn't gain another kilo~~ please..please..please...

ini memang masalah!!

first of all, after all these while, suddenly feeling like writing. hahahaha. kerek's been asking me to update this mr blog of mine, but i told her i'm to0 lazy!! hahaha. actually, i'm super lazy~

vacation?? well, long journey to kota marudu for my SBE, staying there starting from
march,4 until march, 11. then, the vacation continue. in kk. hahaha. staying for the weekend with the clique. wow!! i had really good time epaking with kemek, linda, izyan n nazatul adik-beradik-as izyan call them. hahahaha.

until all of a sudden, after sending kuruk off to airport, i open my fb n my mood began to.....drop?? firing??? dunno. my mood become the worst ever. dunno how to explained this. only God knows. well,,,i'm all alone in my hotel room, then i see this bullshitting pics than....bla...bla...bla...

no more mood. will write bout this some other time. i hope to see eva ASAP. and muaz. i hope those two can explain to me why this is happening to me. haha. well then.

er,,,sungkyunkwan scandal??

hahaha...sebenarnya aku mau letak tajuk SONG JONGKI, tp aku nda mau la membuatkan si Keratul menyampah dan menuduh aku perampas (walaupun hakikatnya dia bukanlah sepa2 bg jongki) . so, utk tdk melukai hati darlink (yark!) aku ne, maka aku letaklah entri drama yg jongki belakon dan yg aku sdg tengok. hahaha. 

even watak first hero-yoochun adalah watak cool dan macho (kunun) tp spt biasa aku akan tertarik dgn watak 2nd-ah in dan 3rd hero-JONG KI!! yay~~ serius dia kiut gilak! did i mention yg dia jugak super kiut dlm triple? hahahaha... "kerek, sori.ini hanya kegilaan sementara tym aku tgk drama ne. so doa2 la drama ne cpt abes ya"

hehehehe.cute kan...

manly side~

cunning but showing the cute expression.huh!!

ngehehehehe...

wah.....*melting*

smile people r willing to die for~

tada...winner of THE BEST COUPLE AWARD. they look super cute together. serius!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 oke.mau smbg tgk jongki eh! sungkyunkwan scandal.post ini bknlah mahu declare perampasan jongki. cuma sekadar ehem!ehem!

ini masalah hati.

i'm very confident in myself.even people keep telling me that i have nothing,,,but for me, i don't need anything to have this confidence in myself. i speak my head out loud. if something is wrong from my perspective, i talk bout it. but, i do accept others opinion. as for me, i really need others advice in making decision.

these confidence that i have always make my name's written in the other people-i-hate list. so what? i just can't pretend everything is alright when i know there's something wrong. my confidence also make me very protective. i'm protective to myself, and also the people that i concern. this habit makes me got many busy-body sticker on my head. but, do i even care?? the hell with others way of looking at me. i don't want to act all innocent and harmless in front of others just to make people like me. i prefer to show my true nature so people won't hate me for being cruel as they know that's just my nature. 

my confidence that i have always bring me trouble. but i know, i have done nothing wrong by speaking my head out. i have confidence in many aspects.  i even have the confidence to question my superior decision when i felt something is not right there. but, i do express my argument in manner. well...i'm a good girl after all. the only thing that i don't have confidence in?? RELATIONSHIP. why? dunno. maybe because i'm a coward. i even afraid to make friends because i can't stand betrayal. i can't stand the hurt of being betrayed by the people i trust. i can't stand separation. i don't want to shed tears because of someone. i hate tears, actually. that's my ego side.

my true color? maybe some people can't understand me. they kept asking why do i behave that way. my answer? simple. because that is me, not you or the me you expect. i wont change myself just because you said you hate this side of me. berterus terang. that sounds like me. i'm not the 'makan dalam' type or whatever terms people use that give the same meaning.

if i had done something so wrong, do tell me. please tell me to my face so i won't have to listen the cruel words from others. maybe i need sometime to recover but i'll accept those words openhearted. i'm not some egoistic bitch who thinks about herself only. i realize i live in a society. even i hate socializing, but i do care what happen around me. and i do care others opinion. i'm not the type who will rejected others opinion without considering them.

now, i'm learning how to say 'sorry' and 'thank you'. why?? because i hate to use that words in my everyday conversation. i have this mindset 'friends don't say sorry and thank you'. but i do realize, not everybody understand my way of thinking and they still demanding for apology and appreciation. well, do me a favor. don't say those words to me if you are my friend. i still holding into my ideology that "FRIENDS DON'T SAY SORRY AND THANK YOU' 

 

moral of the story: I'M NOT A HEARTLESS BITCH.

heart. heartless.

apa?? kau ingat urg becinta jak ka ble terluka hati?? mentang2 la aku teda chenta hati, jd kamu pikir hati aku nda ble terluka la?? beh! kalau kamu terluka sna, ada aku kasi ketawa kamu?? even aku rasa stupid mna pun benda tu, still i respect how you feel.

susah ka mau terima kenyataan yg aku ne manusia biasa jugak?? kalik sudah terbiasa ne di treat mcm robot, jd kamu pun lupa sda yg aku ne pun human being. human being yg ada jiwa dan benda bernama 'heart' bentuk love. dush!!!

realistic la sikit.kita hidup dlm masyarakat. jgn asyik pikir pasal diri sendiri. kamon la. urg lain pun kena konsider jugak bha. jgn la bha asyik2 urg jak yg kena consider your feeling, abes, kau bila pulak mau consider perasaan urg lain??

i'm tired being the doll here. u treat me as if i'm heartless. maybe in your eyes i seems like a heartless bitch. but trust me, I'M NOT!! remember that. is that so difficult to keep in your mind that i'm also a human being, just like the others? why do i receive different treatment? why? i'm also your friend! i'm not a betrayer or an enemy.

things getting worst.you just runaway.go wherever u wanna go. bitching to the people around you. you should be grateful that u have lots of love and you have everything by your side. be grateful n praise the LORD. don't make that as an excuse for you to feel greater that other. what make u think you're the greatest, actually? i didn't treat people differently. i talk everything in my mind. even if it is shit, i still tell you. even if you are my friend, i won't hold back to make you feel better or not to break your heart. i'm not that i-won't-hurt-your-feeling bitch-type. i'm sorry for that.

so, do tell me my wrong part.what did i do to make me receive this treatment from somebody i call 'friend'?? i'm a loner. u should know that, people. i hate bergaul mesra or beramah mesra or whatever terms that people use, but i hate socializing myself. i always love to stay in my room watching anime while people partying outside. that is me. i'm that bitch-type. so don't expect me to roll around and smiling to all people. so, what is that means?? I ONLY HAVE A FEW people that i can call FRIENDS.

i'm good in enduring everything. i kept enduring everything cuz i think all these things that happen in the past were some stupid acts or just some mistake made by some mere human being.but if i kept enduring all these in my love-shaped heart, what will happen to me?? i can feel the hurts in my chest. my chest hurts so much n it's killing me but no one ever care. what you ever care?? as long as you see everything is alright in your eyes, the everything's alright. never once ever bother to consider the situation of my love-shaped heart.

another little fact. i treasure my friends just like i treasure a family. once i call you a friend, a true friend of mine, then you're a family. so, i can't stand it when my family hurts me. if just some outsiders or some beggars swearing at me, i still can smile even how hurts their words are. that won't make me so down that my chest hurts. but, when a family does that, i'm suffocating. my heart hurt so much that i can't even think rationally.

so, make it clear to me either you are my family or just some people walking around and talk to me. cuz i never get the chance to ask you that, so i assume that you are a family. my mistake. maybe i misjudge our relationship. but surely, i take you as my true friend all these time. trust me.

i'm not a two-face bitch who can smile in front of you while talk shit bout you behind your back. if i hate you, i show it. if i don't like anything that u did, i told you. why?? because i'm different. i'm not an ordinary bitch. i'm beyond your imagination. maybe i can smile brightly sometimes, but i can really turn into the worst bitch you ever met when you hurt me. trust me.

no mood. keep silence won't help me.so i'm typing my heart content here since i can't cry. the tears won't come out. n my chest is hurting me. i'm suffocating here. you just go n enjoy yourself. so, tomorrow, make this clear. am i a family or just some bitch in your life.

kesihatan.

sejak hari sukan last friday n sat, tahap kesihatan aku mula merosot. aku di'hinggapi(?)' selesema, batuk dan suhu badan pulak tidak menentu. kemuncak?? malam isnin. serius!! aku kesejukan okeh! terasa mcm winter pulak dlm bilik aku. dah tu..hingus ne nda pandai stop. tambah batuk lagi,,,mmg nda lena la tdr malam2. haduiii!

aduan berterusan. valentine day tadi kan maulidur rasul.hehehe.kami kuar then buat upacara tukar2 hadiah! yes!! aku dapat byk coklat!! 4 cadbury, 3 bueno dan 1 toblerone!hepinya......... i love cokelat~~ *nda takut gumuk?? dem!! sensitip!! tiapa la,,,gumuk2 pun yg penting hepi!! TIDAK!! aku nda mau gumuk tp i can't say NO to coklat!! sooo?? hahaha~~

tapi upacara changing gift jd tragedi pulak. kami beli bantal n bekas air utk gete 2 tu, adakah yg sorg tu p rejek! terlukanya aku~~wuwuwuwuwuuuu........

penat.air belum ada lagi.serius SHIT!! ngantuk. selamat malam.

saya penat!

mood hari ini tidak berapa baik. kenapa? sebab i'm not feeling well.batuk.selesma.sakit perut.sakit kaki. na,,,add la semua. sengsara owh mau hidup!! tapi aku kan go0d in enduring, so aku buat mcm biasa jak la.owh,,,plus satu lagi prob yg kin rusak mo0d ne, teda air di hostel! AKU BENCI ANGKAT AIR, OKE!!!

aku tau la aku yg plg selalu bertindak rasional dan waras. tapi everything ada had. aku pun kadang2 mau jugak act like a spoiled child. aku bukan matang sgt pun. cuma aku harus menjadi matang sebab antara kita, aku jak yg ble berperangai matang. yang lain semua perangai budak2. masalahnya?? bila kamu berperangai mcm budak2, act all spoiled n merajuk sana sini,,,,i terima. i carik solution supaya everything's settled. tapi bila aku yg act spoiled sikit, trus jadi masalah besar. kenapakah?? i'm not human being ka?? atau ada syarat yg kamu sahaja ble berperangai all spoiled tapi aku harus sentiasa menjadi yg matang.

come on la!! aku ne manusia jugak.ada certain hal, aku pun pandai bengang jugak. klu aku sda bg solution A, rejected! aku bg solution B, rejected! solution C, not acceptable. jadi apa kamu mau??? everything has it's limit!aku bukan marah,,,cuma bengang!! tolonglah jgn buat aku begini! treat me as a normal human being please!

kenapa aku tulis di blog dan tidak ckp trus? aku nda mau di ckp menyimpan dlm hati. manja kunuk! i'm not that type, bebeh!! i'm a co0l person. i did talk bout this before but they take it as a joke~well...afterall, i'm not a whining bitch! but now i'm starting to become one!! urgh!!! i hate this.

so,,,people, take me seriously. i'm not a barbie doll here. having everything on your side doesn't make you the greatest in my eyes.so don't expect me to swallowed everything you did n said.usually, i take these as an act of a spoiled child but when that happen continuously n i still endure, why can't you endure when i sometimes whine n said i'm bengang n tired??

why can't you give me some solution like i always did?? it's not like i'm redeeming my good deeds but,,,argh!! don't make become a WHINING BITCH!! please......

bengang! teda mo0d. selamat malam.

aku dan hoki

setelah sekian lama nda main hoki, tiba2 time sukan ipgkt 11 dan 12 feb ne kena main pulak!! *er,,,aku sukarela mau main,,,,rindu mau main hoki!

sejak bila aku main hoki ne?? kurius?? haha!! aku belajar main time skola menengah.yg ajar aku? liyani.salah sorg clique yg sudah terlalu lama aku nda jumpa.2 years oredi?? erm,,,,,,,,,,

paling seksa main sebab 5 players jak.haduiii,,,hampir patah kaki aku terpaksa lari satu padang. kalau bola di depan, harus jd striker kejar bola. kalau bola d belakang, harus lari ke belakang pulak, defence! nda ka matik??
even game kami kalah, tapi aku puas!! dapat main hoki lagi~~ yay~~

kesan sampingan akibat main hoki setelah sekian lama tidak main.

1.kesakitan pada bahagian kaki 

*sakit dr tumit sampailah pinggang...mau baring dan duduk pun sakit..pergh!!

2. kesukaran untuk berjalan dgn betul dgn anggun mcm biasa

akibat kesakitan pada no.1

3.selesema  

*sebab berjemur kalik ne...panas gilak wey time 1st match!!

4. sunburn. 

sebab nda pakai sunblock time main tgh matahari besinar dengan ringa rianya~

team hoki rumah biru!! (dayang,eva,kellyn,REN,azz)

td p SR belanja mereka mkn sebab kalah betting! eisy!! hampir bengkrap ya di situ~ ngantuk sudah!!

harus bagaimana ne?? beli tiket MAS kan Airasia??

malaysia dan lestari.

Malaysia, lestarikah?

Malaysia sebagai sebuah negara yang sedang pesat membangun di Asia Tenggara banyak mengalami pembangunan dan pembinaan mapan. Dalam konteks kemajuan di sini, negara Malaysia sememangnya berusaha untuk mara ke depan dari segi ekonomi, politik dan infrastruktur selaras dengan negara-negara maju yang lain. Namun, kemajuan yang cuba direalisasikan di negara Malaysia ini jelasnya sedikit membelakangkan alam sekitar. 

ESD (Education for Sustainable Development) adalah satu titik sejarah baru dalam menentukan masa depan hutan dan alam semula jadi di Malaysia. Pengenalan pembelajaran ESD dalam silibus pelajar di semua peringkat sememangnya memberikan rakyat Malaysia yang masih jahil tentang penjagaan alam sekitar tentang pentingnya penjagaan alam sekitar. 

Isu ini merupakan satu isu yang semakin giat diperkatakan. Pembangunan yang membelakangkan kepentingan alam semula jadi menyebabkan hutan, sungai dan laut menderita. Orang utan, badak sumbu, gajah dan pelanduk di ambang kepupusan akibat kerakusan manusia. Sifat tamak dan jahil warga negara inilah yang membawa kehancuran kepada alam sekitar kita.

Terdapat juga golongan yang mengetahui hakikat namun membutakan mata dan memekakkan telinga terhadap isu ini, kenapa? Kerana mereka inilah golongan kurang pandai yang mengkhianati alam sekitar mereka sendiri. Mereka tahu bahaya penebangan hutan secara berleluasa. Mereka tahu keburukan penarahan tanah secara berterusan. Mereka tahu perbuatan mereka adalah salah terhadap alam semula jadi. Namun mereka masih berlagak seolah-olah mereka adalah golongan yang membantu membangunkan alam sekitar.

Semua pihak sedar bahawa beg plastik hanya medatangkan pencemaran dan keburukan kepada flora dan fauna kita. Sudah berapa banyak hidupan laut terkorban kerana beg plastic? Ini satu hakikat. Namun kenapa semua orang yang berkuasa tetap menghalalkan penggunaan beg plastic secara berleluasa? Pihak berkuasa sudah tentu mempunyai kuasa untuk menghapuskan penggunaan beg plastic secara mutlak namun kenapa masih tidak ada tindakan yang sewajarnya dilakukan? Hari Sabtu diisytiharkan sebagai ‘Hari Tanpa Beg Plastik’. Satu hari nisbah enam hari. Jelas beg plastic masih menjadi penghuni tetap lorong-lorong dan jalan-jalan di negara kita. 

Ilmu yang ditimba perlulah diaplikasikan dalam semua aspek. Saidina Umar sendiri telah berkata ilmu yang paling berguna ialah ilmu yang diaplikasikan dan siamalkan. Pengetahuan alam sekitar ialah satu pengetahuan asas yang ada dalam setiap manusia walaupun tanpa perlu tahu ABC dan 123. Ini adalah ilmu asas. Semua manusia tahu bahawa membuang sampah merata-rata ialah salah terhadap alam. Pokok pangkalnya di sini, siapa yang bijak dan berani untuk melangkah kehadapan dan menyuarakan ketidakadilan manusia terhadap alam semula jadi ini? Pihak berwajib perlu meletakkan masa depan alam semula jadi di tempat pertama sebelum masa depan parti politik mereka.